OKAY SO UM

[kohikari]

I've been spending far too much time on capslock_dgm recently, and the latest WTF Wednesday inspired rainbowhonda and allegratheneko to come up with the first verse of a D.Gray-man themed version of the infamous "Baby Got Back" (god love the nineties), and, I, uh.  I couldn't help myself.

"D.GRAY-MAN GOT BACK" (SIR REMIX-A-LOT)

OH, MY, GOD. JERYY, LOOK AT THE EXORCISTS' BUTTS.
THEY ARE SO BIG. *SCOFF* WHAT ARE YOU FEEDING THEM? THEY LOOK LIKE,
ONE OF THOSE LEVEL FOUR AKUMA.
BUT, YOU KNOW, WHO UNDERSTANDS THE MILLENNIUM EARL? *SCOFF*
THEY ONLY GET ATTENTION, BECAUSE
THEY LOOK LIKE TOTAL STRIPPERS IN JOHNNY'S NEW UNIFORMS, 'KAY?
I MEAN, BOOKMAN JUNIOR'S BUTT, IS JUST SO BIG.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S JUST SO ROUND, IT'S LIKE,
MM-MM, OUT THERE--ER, I MEAN, GROSS! YEAH...GROSS. ANYWAY, LOOK!
THIS ORDER IS JUST SO...GAY!

LAVI LIKES BIG BUTTS AND HE CAN NOT LIE
EVEN KOMUI CAN'T DENY
THAT WHEN LENALEE WALKS IN WITH AN ITTY BITTY WAIST
AND THOSE DARK BOOTS IN YOUR FACE
YOU GET SPRUNG, BUT SHE'S NOT ENOUGH
'CAUSE ALLEN NOTICED KANDA'S ASS WAS STUFFED
DEEP IN THE SHOUTA HOTPANTS HE'S WEARING
HE'S HOOKED AND HE CAN'T STOP STARING
OH BABY, HE WANTS TO TAP THAT
DESPITE THE HEART ATTACK
NOISE MARIE TRIED TO WARN HIM
BUT THAT JAPANESE ASS MAKES HIM SO HORNY

OOOH, AND TYKI'S OUTFIT
YOU SAY YOU WANNA TAKE MY INNOCENCE?
WELL, USE ME, USE ME
'CAUSE YOU AIN'T THAT AVERAGE VILLAIN
I'VE SEEN THEM FIGHTIN'
TO HELL WITH DIVINE SMITING
HE'S SWEAT, WET,
GOT IT GOIN' LIKE CROSS' DEBT
I'M TIRED OF VATICAN CENTRAL
SAYIN' TREASON'S UNACCEPTABLE
TAKE THE AVERAGE EXORCIST AND ASK THEM THAT
THE NOAH PACK MUCH BACK

SO, NOAH! (YEAH!) NOAH! (YEAH!)
HAS ALLEN WALKER GOT THE BUTT? (HELL YEAH!)
TELL 'IM TO SHAKE IT! (SHAKE IT!) SHAKE IT! (SHAKE IT!)
SHAKE THAT HEALTHY BUTT!
BLACK ORDER GOT BACK!
(CATHOLIC FACE WITH HERETIC BOOTY)
BLACK ORDER GOT BACK!

ROAD LIKES 'EM PRETTY, AND BROKEN
AND WHEN A KIDNAPPED EXORCIST GRABS HER AS A TOKEN
SHE JUST CAN'T HELP HERSELF, SHE'S ACTIN' LIKE AN ANIMAL
NOW HERE'S THE SCANDAL
SHE WANTS TO GET ALLEN HOME
TO THE ARK, THE ONE FROM THE ARK ARC
I AIN'T TALKIN' BOUT ARTIFICIAL APOSTLES
'CAUSE AKUMA PARTS WERE MADE FOR COFFINS

NOAH WANT 'EM REAL THICK AND JUICY
SO FIND THAT JUICY DOUBLE
HOWARD LINK'S IN TROUBLE
BEGGIN' FOR A PIECE OF THAT BUBBLE
SO I'M LOOKING AT THE SCIENCE SECTION
KNOCK-KNEED GEEK FACTION NEEDIN' VISION CORRECTION
YOU CAN HAVE THEM GEEK FACTIONS
IT'S THE FAB FOUR (AND KLAUD) CAUSIN' INSTA-ERECTIONS

A WORD TO THE HOT EXORCISTS, TYKI WANTS TA GET WITH YA
HE WON'T CUSS OR HIT YA (MUCH)
BUT HE'S GOTTA BE STRAIGHT WHEN HE WANTS TA SAY *STRIP POKER*
TILL THE BREAK OF DAWN
ALLEN'S GOT IT GOIN' ON
THE VATICAN WON'T LIKE THIS SONG
'CAUSE THEM PUNKS LIKE TO BE SEXUALLY REPRESSED
AND THE NOAH'D RATHER STAY AND PLAY
'CAUSE LAVI'S LONG, LENALEE WEARS THONGS
AND ROAD'S DOWN TO GET SOME BONDAGE ON

SO, GENERALS! (YEAH!) GENERALS! (YEAH!)
IF YOU WANNA BLOW OFF CENTRAL (YEAH!)
THEN TURN AROUND! STICK IT OUT!
EVEN LVELLIE'S GOT TO SHOUT
BLACK ORDER GOT BACK!
BLACK ORDER GOT BACK!
YEAH, BABY...WHEN IT COMES TO FANSERVICE, THE BIBLE AIN'T GOT NOTHIN'
TO DO WITH HOSHINO'S DESIGNS. HEAD-TO-TOE UNIFORMS? HA HA, ONLY IF IT'S SKINTIGHT LEATHER.

SO YOUR SECRET POLICE PLAY UNDERCOVER ROLES, WEARIN' FACE MASKS, GAY HATS, AND VOLUMINOUS ROBES
BUT ROBES DON'T SHOW OFF MUCH MORE THAN ANKLES, CROW
YU KANDA DON'T WANT NONE
UNLESS YOU'VE GOT BUNS, HON'
YOU CAN EAT MITARASHI DANGO OR SOBA
JUST PLEASE DON'T LOSE THAT BUTT
SOME NEWLY MADE AKUMA WANNA SCAR YOU FOR LIFE
AND SLICE UP YO' ASS WITH A CURSE AND A KNIFE
SO THE EARL TOSSES IT AND LEAVES IT
AND CROSS PULLS UP QUICK AND RETRIEVES IT

SO YOUR LOYALTY THE CHURCH IS DOUBTIN'
WELL JUST LOCK INSPECTOR BUZZKILL OUT, THEN
'CAUSE LENALEE'S SKIRT IS SHORT AND HER LEGS ARE KICKIN'
AND THE FOURTEENTH'S THINKIN' BOUT STICKIN'
TO THE BEANSPROUT PROTAGONIST, DESTROYER OF TIME:
YOU AIN'T THE ONLY FELLA IN LINE!
LENALEE'S A SISTER, CAN'T RESIST HER
JERYY'S COOKING AND SEDUCTION TRAINING DIDN'T MISS HER

TENTACLE!TYKI TRIED TO DIS
'CAUSE LENALEE'S DARK BOOTS WERE ON THE FRITZ
HE HAD GAME BUT HE CHOSE TO HIT 'EM
AND CROSS PULLED UP QUICK TO GET WIT 'EM
SO PEOPLE, IF YOU'RE SICK OF U.S.T.,
AND TIRED OF THE RESTRICTIONS OF AN O.T.P.,
JUST HIT UP GOOD OL' TIMCANPY
FOR AN OT3, 4, 5, 7, SCREW IT--ORGY
D.GRAY-MAN GOT BACK!

(TRYIN' TO BE PIOUS BUT THE ENEMY GOT MUCH BACK)
(TRYIN' TO BE PIOUS BUT THE ENEMY GOT MUCH BACK)
(TRYIN' TO BE PIOUS BUT THE ENEMY GOT MUCH BACK)
(TRYIN' TO BE PIOUS BUT THE ENEMY GOT MUCH BACK)

*hides*

Comments

[kohikari.livejournal.com]

One day I will learn that verbosity is not the best response to writer's block.

...This is not that day.